Last night I watched two HBO documentaries about two icons. They are most well known in the "gay world", but they deserve to be icons and revolutionaries for humanity. Both Greg Louganis and Larry Kramer were two public figures that were important to me in my own coming out process during the mid 1990s and for many others earlier on. As I watched their stories back to back I was a little sad by the depths of despair they both had seen, but mainly inspired by their influence and ability to endure and prosper.
When I was in high school I didn't really know that I was gay, but I probably should have. One reason why is that I pretty much didn't like any sports, but I would always tell people that I looked forward to the Men's Diving competitions. Yeah I really really should have known. But Greg Louganis was a big part of why I enjoyed diving. I was so used to athletes being these brutish hypermasculine caricatures, but here was someone who was shy and soft spoken while also insanely athletic. I felt a strong connection to Louganis and of course that connection makes more sense as He has since come out as gay as well. The documentary Back on Board: Greg Louganis does focus some on his personal life, but it also reminds us of his amazing diving career. What a career it was! Each dive shown in the movie is beyond athleticism. They fall into the realm of what a professional ballet dancer does. In their own way each dive is art.
As I was coming out to myself, I read his book Breaking the Surface in secret. It made me feel a little bit braver. In 1995 Greg came out as both gay and HIV positive. It cannot be stressed enough how rimportant it was for him to do this. Athletes such as Arthur Ashe and Magic Johnson had revealed they were HIV positive, but Louganis came out as both. Even though it was only 20 years ago, things were much different for gay people then. It was hard enough being gay in 1995. I can't imagine having the courage it took to be HIV positive and then making the decision to be public about it.
The most heartbreaking part of the film to me was to see that in recent times Louganis has struggled financially. While he was high profile, Louganis never received any of the endorsements that many athletes do after the Olympics. He never even was on a Wheaties box. He reasons that he didn't receive major endorsements because he didn't fit into the traditional male athlete mold. He also says that even though he was not out as gay at the time, there were rumors and that may have also prevented him from receiving endorsements.
By the end of the film it looks like Louganis is a good place working as a mentor to divers and married to a man he met on Match.com. His present ends happily and hopefully his future will continue to be as bright.
A little bit later in my coming out process after I had told a few of my friends, I found out that there were a bunch of books being given away in a warehouse closed to where I lived. I still do not know why this actually happened, but they were giving away perfectly good books with perhaps a slash on the cover so that they could not be resold. It was an important moment in my life because I found a lot of gay fiction and non fiction books in that warehouse. This was important because at that time the Internet was just starting and I had no idea where to look for resources about gay people or how to meet other people like myself in the buckle of the Bible Belt. Finding those free books was such a blessing at that time. One of the books I found that day was The Normal Heart by Larry Kramer the somewhat fictionalized version of his very real experience during the beginning of the AIDS plague (his word) at the beginning of the 1980s.
Larry Kramer: In Love and Anger begins by showing a very frail Kramer approaching 80 years old in a hospital recovering from a liver transplant that was a result of his being HIV positive for over 30 years. If you don't known the story of Larry, you should watch this documentary, read or catch a performance of the play The Normal Heart or at the least catch the decent HBO Movie version of it starring Mark Ruffalo.
Larry Kramer is a hero. But he is a prickly grumpy hero. During the early 1980s until the beginning of 1990s the U.S. Government all but ignored that there was an AIDS plague happening in the USA. It is likely they didn't take it seriously because it primarily effecting gay men in the U.S. At that time, those administrations really didn't care if a bunch of gay men were eradicated from the planet. Kramer blames former President Ronald Reagan and former NYC Mayor ED Koch for being most responsible for the epidemic going on for as long as it did. But Larry Kramer and his group ACT UP wouldn't let me crisis be ignored. The fact that HIV is now much more manageable can mostly be attributed to Kramer's efforts. He was in your face and abrasive until his voice was heard and action was taken. This often came at the expense of his family relationships as well as his close relationships within the ACT UP group.
Larry Kramer is one of the most important men in modern gay history. One day I hope gets as much credit as someone like Harvey Milk does. Even though Kramer's health is fading, I am glad that he has been able to see some of the fruits of his labor come to pass in current gay history. But Larry Kramer will continue to say there is much more that needs to be done.
Both of these men came out as gay and HIV positive at a time when both were huge fears in American society. I can say that coming out as gay without having the added stigma of being HIV positive was difficult enough for me. However, I am thankful that these men made my path a little bit easier. If you have HBO Now or GO check out these documentaries. Anyone could benefit from knowing more about these men's stories.
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